By Ethan Tan, 14
Aside from picking her nose at traffic lights and belching regularly, 25-year-old Internet addict Jessey Ding describes herself an extrovert and an ogress. “Ogres are like onions,” is one of her favourite phrases, but unlike an ogress, she's nowhere near 6 feet tall, nor does she weigh a ton. On the contrary, she's about the same size as my brother Elliot, only fatter.
Jessey became a Christian through her mom, who calls her regularly. "I didn't buy it at first, and then God became personal. And I like not burning joss sticks to menacing-looking idols and squirm around in smoky stinky temples during festivals."
She was born and bred in Perak and is currently living in KL. "I grew up in the armpit of a small town called Sitiawan in Perak. Those who visit Pangkor Island will pass by the town. Residents usually go about their business in motorbikes helmet-less and shirt-less, and conversations are shouted rather than spoken,” she says. “Don't get me wrong, though. I love my quiet little hometown."
When asked about her school, she admits she did well, but refused to reveal which school and college she went to. "Umm, I'd rather withhold this piece of info in case I get really famous next time and people want to dig up my dirty stories," Jessey replies.
She took up piano when she was 8 and took ABRSM piano exams until she failed her Grade 8 because of lack of interest. "I was being really rebellious and not practising because I've had it with learning up and practising only the four exam pieces for the entire year. I felt that it defeated the purpose of me taking up piano lessons. So I stopped practising, and after I failed, lost all interest in the piano."
"I was young as a young girl," Jessey says with a laugh. "Actually I was a clown. I was happy when I made others laugh. Laughter was sparse and rare during those hard times. So I tried very hard to tickle or bring a smile to my family members and friends. My friends love me to death, but my parents still think I'm fickle and un-serious up till now. Humph."
So where is she staying now?
"I'm staying in an armpit of a house somewhere in Setapak. It smells like an armpit most of the time. Serious. Ask Elliot. He commented that my house smells like ... sweaty students," Jessey says.
"Yah, it did smell like sweaty students," Elliot confirms with a grin.
"It was really messy, as in lots of stuff lying about the area. Oh, and their yard was, you know, was messy. Like the house."
Jessey moved in the house when she was 18 and has been living there ever since. The original batch of housemates have already moved out and moved on.
She currently works with an advertising company with unearthly work hours, and yet, she still finds time to do what she loves the most. "I love singing, reading, writing stuff and movies, in no particular order ... and since no one asks me out for movies anymore nowadays, I'll just have to survive on DVDs begged from you house," she says with a grin.
"I can do all the singing I want with the band Catalyst, can write through my blog, (and) read all the books I can get from Pay Less or YOUR house,” she adds.
She sees dying a contented person who's right with God as her ultimate ambition. When asked if she was satisfied with herself, and why, she replied by saying, "Not really ... I'm too fat. Apart from that I have no qualms ... just need to figure out how to lose some weight without having to exercise or diet."
Jessey is really like an ogress — she has many layers, which she will reveal to you if you feed her well.